If you're faced with a jumble of hockey players:

This google ad I saw in my RSS reader should provide the answer:

I wonder how many GMs are using this?

Winning in Boston

Why not losing in Boston?  That is what we (the BoSox) did today, right?

Yeah.  I don't have the energy right now, but consider it a placeholder for a rant I've had brewing awhile.  More soon.

Opener

Against my better judgement, here I am, and I even dug my jersey out of the closet. Fresh bread will come out of the oven soon, but it better NOT be the best part of the evening.

GOilers.


UPDATE:

*HEADDESK* *HEADDESK*

I dunno if I can take a whole season of our awesome new goalie.

Perhaps the Strangest Job Posting Yet

The Oilers have a new job posting up, and it is a doozy. Close textual analysis follows.

The Edmonton Oilers are one of North America’s leading sports organizations, and we’re looking for outgoing people to administer surveys using a handheld PDA at Oilers and Oil Kings games as well as at special events.

We are both extremely confident in our decisions and yet retain some anxiety that the fans don't want a dehydrated goalie.

• Survey administrators approach event attendees and ask them to complete a brief survey on behalf of the Oilers/Oil Kings. • Responses are entered into a handheld PDA •

We will impress the fans with our technical prowess and gadgets!

Training will be provided

This doesn't pay enough to assume you know how to use that PDA.

Survey Team will dress casually (no jeans) and will be provided with an Oilers SURVEY TEAM jacket to wear while working

Jeans are far too formal to wear with a SURVEY TEAM jacket! Break out those warmup pants!

Survey Administrators will be provided with one PDA to use while working

Because we're generous like that.

After the survey time period, Survey Administrators will return the jacket and PDA

Well, not THAT generous! You realize you're borrowing Katz's spare PDA, right?

Ideal Qualifications: • Passionate about the sports and entertainment industry • Comfortable approaching and speaking with people

Basement-dwelling blogger types probably not welcome.

MacT to Spengler

Per TSN, MacT will coach Team Canada for the 2009 Spengler Cup.

And uh, you know, Comrie is an Oiler. Yup. If this causes me to run into Hillary Duff on my next Edmonton visit, man that's gonna be awkward.

Wherever you go...

There is a BP's.

So Training Camp approaches, and how do things stand at marriedtotheoil? Oddly. You see, I've spent the last month moving house to College Station, Texas for job reasons, and currently I cannot seem to get any internet or cable provider to contemplate hooking me up in a reasonable budget/timeframe, so I am without television altogether, and only sporadically able to find some internet.

What's different about College Station from Austin? Well, absolutely everything. What's different that anyone reading this blog would actually care about?

1.) NONE of the local cable options seem to provide Center Ice. This is very, very distressing.

2.) There is a Boston Pizza here. No, REALLY. It knows not of this "hockey", nor of Thai Chicken Pizza, and is calling itself "Boston's the Gourmet Pizza," but curiously, it does have Caesars on the drinks menu. (Trust me, no one in TX has ever heard of a Caesar, and thinks you're talking salad.) If I can't get some kind of hockey hookup soon, I'll be drinking a lot of them.

The Top 10 Questions on Everyone's Mind

I recently added Google Analytics to this site, essentially for my own amusement. It's fun to see where people visit from, and, even better, what search queries landed them here. With that in mind, I will give you the top ten questions that people seem to be looking to marriedtotheoil for answers to, and as I'm all about service, I'll do my best to answer them.

10. tim wakefield carries sick kid

Aww, what a sweet image. I'm sure he would, if you asked. How far do you need this sick kid carried?

9. "oilers flag" + tennessee

Oh, I'm so, so sorry. I wish I could help with your situation, but I don't think this is something mail order can fix.

8. edmonton oiler mascot

Is a terrible idea.

7. gene principe

Is perhaps googling himself? What does he do during the off-season, exactly?

6. hey, get well soon

Why thank you. I'm feeling much better already!

5. is dean arsene married?

I applaud your rapid, opportunistic response to a recent Oilers transaction, and am a little afraid.

4. sidney crosby

Surely I can not be an early result for that query. I have, however, had 3 visits from Nova Scotia, so I am concerned Sid needs a better summer hobby than vanity googling to assuage his off-season boredom. Go live a little, you just won the Cup!

3. rexall brand hair gel

Sheldon, my man! How's your summer going?

2. tarnst porn

Oh dear. I do not know what this is, and I'm not sure I want to. I'm assuming "porn" is a wild-card query word on google by now? A perfunctory visit with a german dictionary would suggest that "tarnst" means disguised or masked. Good luck with that. Or it could be featuring Dick Tarnstrom, I suppose. I don't know what disturbs me more of these options.

1. tarnst hockey

I suppose that's less disturbing than #2, but I fear I still do not know what this means, readers, though I have had enough queries about it to imply it is in the current zeitgeist. Can anyone else help?