What does Crosby have to do with the trade deadline?

Well, um, nothing that I can figure out, but you wouldn't get that impression here. I like that his name appears only under the picture of CROSBY! and in the fine print at the bottom about NHL network being where you can find CROSBY! This sort of reminds me of tone-deaf automated google ads one gets when one runs a search...

Oh Captain, My Captain*

Falcons @ Lowell, 1/11/08

I've figured it out. The Oilers must have one giant setback for every tiny step forward. Shame on you, KLowe, for brokering such a raw deal with the hockey gods.

My husband at least waited until I'd poured myself a cup of coffee this morning before telling me "Moreau's out for the season."

"Of course he is," said I. It barely mattered how. Ankle, shoulder, kidnapped by gnomes--we're still left with an active roster whose average age is now down to 26.25. (If we traded Roli, we'd be down to 25.63 as the average team age.)

I won't even try to pretend at guessing what will happen come the deadline. I think the rest of the season's going to be pretty rough, but the Oilers have been specializing in saving their wins for the more implausible games this year, and at this point all the games are looking more implausible by the minute, so maybe there are few more beauties in store. We can only hope. In the meanwhile, heal up fast Captain.


*So I was an English Lit B.A. What do you want from me?

We... ...won... ...hockey?

...was all I could come up with before the disturbingly porn-y music they always cut to as they shut down the Center Ice feed.


In other news, via Spector's Hockey:

"Garrioch believes Murray might make that swap if the Thrashers added rugged and affordable blueliner Garnet Exelby into the deal."

You might remember my previous claims about Exelby's origins flat-packed at Ikea? I see nothing here but support for them.

Breaking--Zamboni explosion?!

I just tuned into the Penguins/Sharks game, which is only just now starting, 30 mins late, because of what the announcers are casually referring to as "the zamboni explosion at center ice." I can't find anything about this on TSN.com or NHL.com.

My brain hurts.

UPDATE: In the meanwhile, footage of a zamboni fire, also in Pennsylvania, from December. I call that suspicious.

UPDATE 2: Now they are backtracking and calling it "the zamboni breaking down at center ice". Breaking down is most sincerely not the same thing as exploding. For example, the latter usually involves a loud bang. Which is it, people?

(Also, apparently Sidney Crosby is powered by some sort of perpetual motor, according to these same announcers, but how can I believe anything they say now?)

SIDENOTE: Googling "zamboni explosion" comes up with an alarmingly high number of hits.

FINAL UPDATE: Well, according to the Canadian Press, the zamboni slid out to center ice, leaked a whole bunch of transmission fluid, and then they had to clean up the mess. What a rip. I guess Crosby deprivation has made the announcers light-headed and prone to hallucinations. Just ask Evgeny "Not Crosby" Malkin.

Quickie

Falcons @ Lowell 1/11/08

1.) According to an alarming section of NHL.com I hadn't previously noticed ("NHL Lifestyles"?!) Big Georges is a fan of yoga. As is Shawn Horcoff. Imagining Big Georges doing a sun salutation puts a big stupid grin on my face.

2.) Jezebel.com featured a picture yesterday of Rachel Hunter leaving Big Lots! discount store with an entire shopping cart of cleaning supplies and a rather sour look on her face. Jarret, what did you do to her kitchen?

3.) Edmonton is playing Dallas tomorrow. I know that if this last week hadn't been so awful hockey-wise, I would totally be scheming for a roadtrip and a night in Dallas (It can't be that bad a place? Plausibly?) as our weekend plan, but all I can summon is a vague curiosity as to how we'll lose this one. Ugh. Perhaps when my Horcoff jersey arrives (I can't be the only one seduced by that evil 1-day sale on NHL.com, surely?) I'll feel a renewed optimism. We can only hope.

In no particular order...

1.) Scott Howson may be the GM of Columbus, but he sure is working the crazy eyes.

2.) Zednik's young daughter was in the hospital in Florida with a fever the day he got hurt. Thankfully the whole family is home and safe now. He's giving his first public comments today.

3.) Speaking of family stuff, if not news per se, (more "olds", really) this video of Shawn Horcoff sledding with his kids makes it easier to remember why I love this team. Don't worry, Shawn, I'm married and not particularly stalk-y, I promise.

4.) The Nashville feed for the game last night hit new lows of competence in my NHL viewing experience. Either that, or the Predators can't afford to light the arena properly. Though even that wouldn't explain the general ignorance/homophobia/ethnic stereotyping issues the announcers were having.

5.) Apparently when the cable feed dies on a US Center Ice game, you get a test screen and the radio feed.

6.) Sidney Crosby skated yesterday. Crosby. Crosby! CROSBY! Crosby did not speak to the media after skating in something that was not the game or an actual practice. How could he deprive the Crosby media of his Crosbiness after such a huge event? Thankfully there was blurry footage of him skating around holding a stick, for us to analyze in depth and base our upcoming life decisions off of.

7.) pazzoni. n. pl. -ies. 1.) A North-American Italian food item, consisting of dough stuffed with a pound of cheese and ground beef, frequently offered by street vendors. Thank goodness there are so many pazzoni vendors on Whyte, because I had too many Stortinis at that bar and needed something greasy to soak them up. 2.) The willful mispronunciation of Oilers' #34 by idiots in TN.

The polls are open!

From L-R: O'Marra, Stephane Goulet (16) , Theo Peckham (24), Devan Dubnyk,
J-F Jacques (26),Colin McDonald? (18?), Rick Berry (5?), and Marc Pouliot (29) @ Lowell 1/11/08

New question, new poll: which of these fine young Falcons will still be in dark blue come February 27? Applies to the big team too. I've never been much of a trade deadline junkie (Being a Red Sox fan during the Duquette GM years made me learn to fear reflexively the random things that could happen late summer) but the Oilers are in a bit of a weird position this year and I confess I'm curious to see what happens. Vote your hopes and fears to the right column, and/or speculate wildly in the comments.

The polls are closed

Devan Dubnyk and Ryan O'Marra, 1/11/08

Thank you to the fourteen people who told me to keep going with this blog, and to all those who have commented here in my first month! Here's hoping the Oil give us all lots (of good) to talk about in the month to come...

Goilers.

Roy

We saw the Springfield Falcons @Lowell, 1/11/08, and I've just managed to start going through the photos I took. This seemed like a nice place to begin.

Sedins 2, Vancouver W, my patience 0

Last night, I settled in with my husband, a fine Valentines-y dinner, a great bottle of Zin, and a WWE wrestling match on ice skates.

I was not amused. If it were up to me, I would have awarded the Sedins the 2 points, and told neither club they deserved to win.

I know the Sedins catch a lot of flack for being "soft". They made it look real good last night. They are very consistent in the way they body block, drag teammates out of frays, and don't throw punches, and maybe that's not everyone's favorite NHL style, but I respect their choice of style in a season that's been filled with plays around the NHL where I seriously wonder how some of these guys can go home to their families feeling proud of their actions today. Until the refs get some teeth into enforcing the rules as they need to be, play will procede at the highest level of goonishness allowed to goons, and by everyone else in self-defense. And I don't like it. I hesitated about picking this as my topic today, what with the "girl blogger" thing and all, but I'm just still utterly disgusted with last night's circus. I love the physicality and intensity of hockey, but it's on the bargain that I get to enjoy it because I'm not really endorsing psychopathic behaviour.

I'll stay brief here about what bothered me last night. The truly atrocious behaviour was absolutely instigated by Vancouver. I particularly detest Ritchie, Cook, and Burrows. That said, our guys did not acquit themselves entirely without blame and I got pretty mad when Reasoner shoved Henrik Sedin to the ice when Henrik was just standing there--it's not like you can claim pre-emptive on that player with a straight face, it seems to me. I'm not saying Reasoner was outside his rights to scrap with Vancouver, but his choice of target and force disappointed me.

Clearly, emotions were running high on both sides and understandably so, etc, but both sides were lucky nobody got seriously hurt in three periods of constant fighting, and a not-so-small part of me wishes the refs, coaches, veterans, and captains could have stepped up and reined things in so we could have an actual hockey game instead of a three-ring circus.

Zednik

Well, I was all set to write something flippant tonight on how I shouldn’t ever look forward to hockey games because that’s just asking for trouble, but today’s accident in Buffalo has put all levity out of my mind and also puts the Oilers’ woes in stark perspective for me.

We have far too many injured players, and it absolutely sucks, but at least we have so far been spared those heart-stopping moments when a player leaves the ice with an injury that calls a young man’s entire future into question rather than just his team’s prospects without him for the next few weeks. I’ve still not forgotten the Patrice Bergeron hit from earlier this year, and my stomach churned so much just reading about today’s incident I’m somewhat grateful I didn’t happen to see it live. My heart goes out to Zednik and his wife, and I hope he makes a swift and total recovery. I also really feel for Jokinen, who is blameless but still must be terribly shaken up. I love this game so, and I wish it didn’t ever have to be so dangerous for those who play it.

Oilers 5, Falmes 0. Um... yes.

Can we just watch this over and over?



Well, I don't know about you, but after watching last night's blowout, I would love to have been there to see what went down in the locker room before the game. Motivational speeches to underdogs = dime/dozen. Whatever got those results = freaky supernatural.

Some highlights beyond those fab goals:

1.)Ales Hemsky's bee-you-ti-ful skating/puck handling.

2.)Zack a.k.a. "What's in a...?" a.k.a. "Huggy Bear" Stortini's big tangle in the second. I'm coming round to this guy, I'm embarrassed to admit. After all, this fight gave us a huge emotional/momentum boost, and was hillariously bizarre to watch, so I really can't complain. From the initial Stortini EmbraceTM to the mutual attempts give each other hickeys on the neck, to the passionate grappling followed by the inevitable Sarich arm getting free and Zack taking his punches, this had an unearthly and beautiful flow to it, and I have not enjoyed a hockey fight this much in a long time. The six dozen or so others that followed later in the game were just icing.

Or we could go with the Oilers.com account:

"Several minutes later, Zack Stortini and Cory Sarich dropped the gloves in a bout that lasted well over a minute but neither combatant had the edge over the other."

Kind of misses the point, I think. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm seriously looking forward to Saturday.

Seriously, I think I might cry

I didn't think I could be any more depressed about the Oilers right now. But surely playing Calgary tonight will cheer us all up, right?

Um, yeah.

In my impromptu week-in-review (my "real" life has recently been keeping me too busy to post daily), here are the things that stand out for me:

1.) It appears Katz is finally buying the Oilers, yes? Or no? With the Writer's Strike grinding on, maybe we can make the negotiations into some mind-numbing reality viewing? No? Thank goodness. I feel woefully unable to comment much meaningfully on this as a non-local, so I'll leave it at the stating the obvious.

2.) Horc's shoulder injury sucks.

3.) We traded our only Swedish player, as Garnet predicted. This prevented a dangerous build-up of defensemen on our roster. (wipes brow)

4.) What pagan god did MacT and KLowe offend to provoke this season's injuries?!

5.) Did you know Henrik Lundqvist of the Rangers has a twin? Neither did I. Now what?

6.) I enjoyed the clip they kept showing over the weekend of Giguere freaking out in the box and kicking things, while Porn-stache Parros looked on stolidly. At least we can still take entertainment from someone else's woes.

7.) Did I mention that with Horc out, we are utterly up the creek without a paddle?

Pitchers and catchers report in 11 days, 17 hours.

Not a moment too soon...